Sunday, July 26, 2015

Bernie Sanders to Boost Campaign Funding, Sell Record Collection

MONTPELIER, VT - Campaign aides confirmed Friday that Democratic Presidential candidate Bernie Sanders is launching a major effort to bolster his campaign funds, and will explore a variety of options to do so, including the sale of his personal record collection.

The junior senator from Vermont has been the primary challenger to Hillary Clinton, the party's perceived frontrunner.

"The senator has some extraordinary momentum in the polls right now," campaign spokesman Lindsey Harris stated. "But to continue reaching voters in key states means a war chest is absolutely paramount. Difficult decisions and sacrifices will need to be made."

Sacrifices, sources confirmed, which will include the candidate's prized record collection. The extensive catalogue includes works by once celebrated artists including The Glenn Miller Orchestra, Jim Nabors and Scott Joplin.

"There must be 50 records here," Carina Sanders, Bernie's daughter said. "We could get $250, easy for these."

No word yet one when/how the records  will become available, though bundled together in a cardboard box and advertised on Craigslist is an option that campaign managers will explore.