Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Hillary Clinton Hits Campaign-Trail, Neighbor to Watch Cats

NEW YORK – Democratic Presidential Candidate Hillary Clinton confirmed her travel schedule today, as she begins a 25-day trip to key battle-states, including Iowa and New Hampshire. Clinton confirmed that during her absence, her neighbor Gene will be watching the cats.

“It’s one of the major considerations when you choose such a demanding life of public service,” Clinton said. “The cats are independent, but they can only be on their own for 24, 36 hours tops.”

Reports indicated that Gene – who is not currently employed – is happy to do it.

“I’m actually allergic,” Gene said. “But Hillary is so busy, always on the road, I don’t know how she does it. Usually Chelsea steps in because God knows they can’t depend on Bill. But Chelsea is off on some trip, so of course I’d be happy to check up on them.”

The cats – Tabby, Abraham and Noodles – are in full health but do have some select dietary restrictions, which Clinton has transcribed on a sticky-note to Gene, along with her personal cell number in case anything happens. “You’ll do great!” the note closes.

The arrangement is just one of many hectic scenarios facing candidates on the campaign trail, Clinton said. “You just do the best you can, and hopefully it will all be worth it in the end.”