Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Rob Gronkowski Offers Party Bus as Green Line Extension Alternative

BOSTON - The city has found an unlikely hero to solve its major transportation infrastructure issues: Patriots Tight End Rob Gronkowski.

Amid reports this week that the MBTA's major Green Line extension project may be shelved due to a $1 billion budget shortfall, Gronkowski has stepped up to offer a solution where the legislature has failed.

"Yo, my party bus can squeeze 35, 40 people no problem," the Patriot said. "You toss me a few bucks to cover the keg, and I'll definitely drive your ass around Somerville. Ladies ride free of course."

It's a low-cost answer to an issue that was once considered burdensome to taxpayers and lengthy in production schedule (estimates put the project's completion near 2020). Instead, Gronkowski's alternative can be inputted immediately, and can even shake some of the restrictions facing MBTA riders.

"None of this service interruption bullshit at 1 am," Gronkowski said. "We riding alllllll night long."