Tuesday, August 11, 2015

TRAFFIC - Sissy at Stop Light in Old Saturn Refuses Offer to Drag Race

QUINCY - Despite several inquiries and offers, local driver Edward Hamlin remained emphatic in his refusal to drag race a fellow driver at a Quincy stop light on Wednesday.

"No matter what we did, he just wouldn't take the bait," said Chris Penn, who initially proffered the race verbally. "At first, I just asked him if he wanted to race and he didn't respond. I figured he'd accept when I started really revving the engine and turned the Metallica on the radio way up to max, but he just rolled up his window. Who does that?"

Hamlin couldn't be reached for comment, but his driving record supports his reputation as a real pantywaist behind the wheel. He's never accrued even one traffic violation, moving or otherwise.